and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
