I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
