How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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