either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm like, not good at living.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize