Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
