Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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