standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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