party gras won. party gras always wins.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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