Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
