I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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