can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
