so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize