i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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