Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
