areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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