i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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