but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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