I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
