i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
