I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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