Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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