I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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