Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have post one night stand depression
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