my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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