i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
