Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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