omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
