Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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