Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
