Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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