my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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