and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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