Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize