On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
