I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
