tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
