how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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