please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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