he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
