you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
