whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
