we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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