SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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