Plan B is the new Plan A
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
