is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My dick has a subreddit
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
