every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my being single is dangerous.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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