well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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