Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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