Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
