the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
