I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
