Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
