C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am midnight drunk by noon
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize