dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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