sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
