is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
accomplished twins. life is a go
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
