2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
